Two weeks of hell for Meghan Markle have come to an end with one final cringey moment. James Weir recaps.
Unofficial Big Brother VIP contestant Meghan Markle concludes her time on the Channel 7 reality show when her weird half-brother is evicted from the mansion during Tuesday’s episode and – in one final classy move – repeatedly attempts to flirt with a horrified Sonia Kruger.
Honestly, the things Kruges has to put up with. She’s a trooper.
The eviction is welcome news for Meghan, who has been the hot topic of conversation throughout this season of the reality show. Her bitter brother Thomas has not wasted a minute in front of the cameras – breathlessly spitting insults about the duchess and detailing perceived slights. Upon watching tonight’s elimination on the 7Plus live stream, Meghan will no doubt breathe a sigh of relief and flop onto a conveniently placed chaise lounge in her Santa Barbara home.
JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the recaps here
Producers have a sense their time with Thomas Markle Jr – and, by extension, Meghan Markle – is about to run out. So they desperately try to squeeze out some last drops of tabloid drama by getting the bitter dad to mail in a letter to the house.
“Dear Tom, we are all so proud of you,” Thomas Jr reads it aloud. “Over the past two years we’ve recovered from a bad relationship. A boxing career, a Chinese beer company. you picked yourself up and got rid of all the things that were bringing you down and moved away from all the negative and cleared your head.”
Hmmm. Really? He’s moved on from the negativity? And do we have more info on his failed Chinese beer company?
Everyone just sits in silence while sucking on Zooper Doopers and thinking judgy thoughts.
After a very tedious 40 minutes of physical challenges, we finally arrive in the elimination room where Thomas is up for eviction along with some other girl.
Kruges Zoom calls in and makes small talk with all the bozo contestants. That’s when Jessika starts fawning over Thomas.
“I thought Thomas was a bratty, snarky brother who wrote a horrible letter to his sister but, really, Thomas is fun and interesting and he’s lived a colourful life,” she observes.
For Thomas, the admiration is mutual.
“I’d let her cheat on me anytime,” he says of the former Married At First Sight star, who shot to fame because of an on-screen affair.
It’s a joyous interaction. So much love in the room.
Kruges points out this is the fourth time Thomas has been up for elimination. For most of us at home, this is just mindless chitchat. But for Thomas Markle Jr, it’s a declaration of Kruges’s romantic interest.
“Well now, I’m OK with being here for the fourth time because Big Brother said if I made it to the eviction chair for four times in a row that you would take me out for ice-cream,” he grunts.
Kruges remains silent and stands completely still for what feels like 20 seconds —seemingly pretending the video call has frozen.
“ … Sonia Markle?” she eventually says while frantically ripping open the envelope to reveal the eliminated contestant. “ … Anyway … ah …”
Thomas is then promptly evicted. But instead of making a swift exit, he decides it’s the perfect opportunity to publicly ask Kruges out on a date again.
“Does that mean we’re still goin’ out for ice cream?” he winks.
Kruges visibly shudders. “Can’t make that promise, Thomas,” she shuts him down as the screen cuts to black.
Getting rejected twice by Kruges doesn’t dull Thomas’s spirit. Lumbering out to the Uber and flopping into the back seat, he muses about the positive experience of coming on Big Brother and sledging his famous sister.
“It’s given me the opportunity to cleanse my soul,” he says. “I mailed off the good letter to Meghan – it’s in the post. And the ultimate outcome to that letter would just be the smallest of any type of response whatsoever – in any way, shape or form. It may take a month, it may take a year.”
Thomas, Kruges will agree to a gelato date before Meghan replies to that goddamn letter.
Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir
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2021-11-17 10:13:46Z
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