The Real Housewives of Sydney’s Tokyo trip continues this week – and we start the episode with Krissy and Nicole, waiting outside their hotel for a group trip to the markets.
They’ve been waiting for Caroline and Terry for a good 45 minutes and they are fuming.
“This is absurd,” Nicole complains, and she’s not talking about her hat. Upstairs in her hotel room, Caroline is clearly just racing out the door:
Krissy and Nicole are furious: Caroline and Terry haven’t even texted. This is presented as some impossible challenge when the solution seems simple – have you texted them, or gone and knocked on their doors? Did you both forget to turn on roaming?
Nicole and Krissy finally go on ahead, and when Caroline and Terry do arrive at the markets, Caroline makes a beeline for her “go-to hangover cure” from when she lived in Tokyo. Burger? Pizza? Bloody Mary?
Umm … a giant cucumber on a stick:
Across the market, Nicole is still absolutely stewing. Krissy, a wise friend, points out that general travel hangriness may be contributing to her murderous impulses right now (this is perhaps the most relatable anyone on this show has ever been). But Nicole won’t back down, deciding Terry must be the culprit for standing them up: “I’ve been to dinners where she’s turned up two hours late,” she complains.
That night, having had all afternoon to stew on their grievances, the whole group meet for dinner.
“This trip will end on a high – it has to! This is why we came away, to have a good time,” says Sally, and I almost believe her.
Terry’s immediately on the defensive, insisting that Krissy and Nicole had it all wrong: The plan was never for them to travel together – the four members of the group who wanted to go to the markets would travel separately, in two separate cars, and not spend any time together. Which seems … weird.
Pretty soon, they’re all yelling before entrees have even been served. Poor Sally looks positively forlorn:
Caroline does some amazing logic gymnastics by announcing that she doesn’t like to be held to a schedule, and it’s really quite rude to expect her to be on time, and so actually it’s very rude to even bring this up over dinner, so Nicole should really apologise and shut up.
She delivers this argument so convincingly it takes a second to clock that it is all – how you say? – patently insane.
Terry jumps on to this too, telling Nicole that it’s actually “the height of rudeness” of her to point out their rudeness. By that logic, is it not then even ruder for her to point out that it’s the height of rudeness to point out their rudeness? #makuthink.
At this point in the escalating fight, Sally starts openly praying at the dinner table:
Terry and Caroline then leave the table to indulge in that classic of the Housewives genre: The teary ladies toilets hot mic moment. The camera lingers outside as we hear an emotional Terry mouth off about Krissy and Nicole.
When they return to the table, Terry’s even more fired up, declaring that she and Krissy aren’t friends. Krissy protests that actually, they’ve been friends for almost 20 years, and Terry says they’re merely “acquaintances.” Ouch.
“I’ll give you my business card and you can invite someone else next time,” Krissy shoots back.
Sally’s stress levels are rising – and this week, in a Very Special Episode of The Real Housewives of Sydney, Sally Obermeder finally swears.
“I need a f**king flow chart!” she suddenly wails from the end of the table.
What does that mean? Why did she say it? Nobody knows, but she’s getting involved.
Now Sally’s yelling at them all to sort their crap out, and it’s actually slightly scary – like watching your mum finally snap on the last day of school holidays after you and your siblings have been absolute beasts for two weeks.
Caroline rises from the table, packs up her cleavage and storms out, throwing a “you can all go f**k yourselves, actually” over her shoulder for good measure. Another successful Real Housewives dinner!
The next morning, Krissy pops into Sally’s room for a debrief, declaring relations are so bad between them all she doesn’t even know “how we could all get on a plane together.”
Babes you’re in business class, I’m sure you’ll dig deep and find the strength within yourself to board.
Kate and Terry go for a strange rickshaw ride through the busy streets of Tokyo, driven by a cute – and for some reason pantsless – driver:
For their last evening in Japan, the ladies all meet for a rooftop drink. All except Nicole, that is, who hasn’t emerged from her room since the previous night’s dinner. This is a bad move after a Housewives fight, because it gives the others a chance to gossip about you.
Sally gives them all an impassioned speech about how friendships have ups and downs, and we’ll all look back on this and laugh one day, and we should be grateful we’re here, and honestly? I just want her to swear again. Smash a glass Sally! Slap someone!
More Coverage
They all make a plan for once they’ve returned home, for next week’s season finale: To throw a big party where they can all respectively invite their friends (aka their real friends, not the contractually obligated ones).
The Real Housewives of Sydney airs Tuesdays on Binge and Foxtel – and we’re recapping all the highlights each Tuesday at 1pm.
You can also listen to the official Real Housewives of Sydney podcast.
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2023-12-05 02:02:28Z
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