There’s not much a parent won’t do for their child. But an Aussie single dad has gone above and beyond to make sure his son grows up empowered, accepted and loved, even if it leaves him $10,000 out of pocket.
Six years ago, Andy Martin from Sydney’s Sutherland Shire received surprising news while he and his then-wife were expecting their first baby. At their 15-week scan, they were told their unborn child had a “defect”, as doctors had described it.
“Every scan you’re finding out something more about what’s wrong and, as the doctors call, it’s a ‘defect’,” Andy, 38, told news.com.au.
“No parent or no future parent wants to be told that. Obviously, it’s just their technical term, but from the first scan it was like, ‘Oh, we think there’s something wrong.’”
Further scans soon revealed that their baby, who they later name Archie, would be born with a
bilateral cleft lip and palate – when two halves of the roof of the mouth or the lip do not fuse together during early foetal development, leaving an open space or clef.
“We had to have a lot more scans as well throughout the pregnancy, but then it turned into, ‘OK, we think he’s got a unilateral cleft lip, which is just one side,’” recalls Andy, who works a high-powered corporate job in recruitment.
“Then the next scan was like, ‘Actually no, we think there’s a bilateral cleft, which is both sides.’ And then the next scan was like, ‘We think there’s actually also something on the palate’.”
From birth, Archie’s condition has seen him go in and out of hospitals. He is now 6 years old but already little Archie has had three major operations.
“He’s had his lip repaired after six months, and after 12 months, he had his full palate repaired. And then he’s also just had to go in for another tweak on his palate to further support his pronunciation of some words,” Andy tells us.
Archie is also undergoing speech therapy, seeing a speech pathologist on an ongoing basis.
“We do speech work with him every day and he’s been seeing a speech pathologist for years now, once a week,” Andy shares.
“That’ll be an ongoing thing to help support him in his livelihood.”
Andy and his wife divorced just before Archie turned two, which had a significant impact not just on Archie, but the entire family.
However, one main concern Andy had was for Archie to still feel love and a sense of belonging despite the split, while also wishing his son grows up feeling accepted and never defined by his condition.
So Andy – who has been writing poetry since he was a child himself – put pen to paper and began writing for Archie. And the dad-of-one’s book, Your Story Still Untold, was born.
Your Story Still Untold is an uplifting children’s book appreciating and celebrating uniqueness.
Through Andy’s beautiful words and poetry, and illustrator Valery Vell’s heartwarming drawings, the book helps children learn to face up to life’s challenges, such as bullying and separation, whileknowing that they are loved no matter what.
“I wanted to try and write something for him, which was talking to separation and knowing no matter where I am, or where he is or where his mum is, that he’s always loved. And it’s kind of that celebration that you’re never actually truly alone,” he explains.
“At that time, it was only designed to be a message for Arch and then obviously I’d read a lot of other books and there’s nothing that I ever read to him that signified the message or the tone I wanted to for him. Then it started making me think there’s probably also a lot of children that are in similar situations and are unique in their own way.”
After months of submitting and presenting his work to different publishers and receiving only an obligatory ‘Thanks for your submission’ reply, Andy took a more proactive approach and self-published the book himself last year.
With the help of hybrid publishing house Little Steps Publishing in Sydney, he was able to bring his words to life. Andy had to pay overheads to the tune of $10,000 and find his own illustrator, before Little Steps Publishing takes care of the rest, such as the printing, marketing, editing, production and distribution of his book.
It’s a small price to pay to get his story about love, self-belief and acknowledgment out there into the world.
“Honestly, it was never around making money. It was just trying to empower children,” Andy says. “For me, it was about knowing if I could make a difference to one kid or a parent or a carer. That’s my goal.”
And Andy also set out to make the main character – an endearing puppy dog – resemble Archie’s favourite puppy plush toy, making the finished product Archie’s world in literary form.
“The whole book is orchestrated around Archie’s life. So the main character is actually his favourite plush toy Doggy – it was his very first plush toy he had and he took it everywhere,” Andy explains.
“The main dog has a little cleft scar as well, so it really signifies Archie. What I love is I really did phrase the whole book around Archie being a main character.”
The book has come to be Archie’s favourite bedtime story, and he loves holding on to Doggy as his dad reads to him.
“We read it still at least once a week, and it’s one of his favourite books.” Andy says. “He does really enjoy it and he loves looking through the pictures. For him, he actually does relate to the book.”
Ultimately, the book is to help Archie and other unique children prepare themselves for a world that’s not always rainbows and roses. It will knock you down, but how you bounce back is what matters, Andy says.
“There are probably two key messages in the book. The first, you’re always loved and you will be loved no matter what. And the second is to really believe in yourself and know that you’re going to be make mistakes, but that’s OK. Just keep moving forward.”
Archie is set to finish Kindergarten this year and Andy couldn’t be prouder. There is still a long road ahead for the 6-year-old, but Andy is beyond proud of how far his son has come.
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“He’s such a genuinely, authentically, funny little bugger. He still is doing speech work every day, but he’s in Kindy and he’s doing so well. His mum and I are so proud of him,” Andy says.
“He’s excelling in his class and he’s loving school. He could not be happier and we could not be happier for him. He tries his best at everything and that’s all we can ask.”
Andy Martin’s book Your Story Still Untold is available at Little Press Publishing, Dymocks and QBD Books.
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2023-12-29 12:03:06Z
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