Merrick Watts has opened up about his battle with anxiety and depression in Monday night’s episode of SAS Australia.
The 46-year-old has been doing extremely well in the military-style show, pushing himself through the tough and exhausting tasks set for participants by the instructors.
During Monday night’s episode, not only does Watt’s succeed in a tricky hostage situation, but he smashes a particularly hard drowning task.
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However, much of the narration throughout the episode focussses on Watts’ discussing the battles he has gone through mentally, since his career as a successful comedian/radio host slowed down.
“You do something like radio for twenty years non-stop. You get used to a certain way of doing things and then when you’re out of it for a little while it’s exciting and kind of cool and a release. But then all of a sudden there was period when I just didn’t have a lot of work. “There was a moment there where I just went ‘What’s next for me? Who am I? What am I going to do?’”
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“I lost my self-confidence and I lost my strength in myself,” he continued.
“That started to slowly manifest into anxiety and depression. It starts as a seed. These things don’t just become a tree. If you let it go too big it’s too hard to chop down, and that’s why I’m in this course.”
Throughout the episode, Watts’ looks down, even confiding in fellow contestant Candice Warner about how he is struggling, despite how well he is doing.
“Everybody knows me as a happy go lucky guy. Like ‘Oh yeah Mez is all right. He’s fine. He’s just a clown. He’s always bulletproof.’ To a large degree that is who I am but I haven’t felt that way in a while and I want to feel that way again.
“Rather than waiting to see whether or not this goes bad maybe I should address it now before it becomes too big a thing and it becomes harder to tackle.”
Watts’ explained that this is why he decided to go on the gruelling show.
“Then this came along and I thought this is exactly what I need. It’s not just about the challenges it’s about the opportunity to rebuild my strength and confidence.
“The one thing that worries me is breaking down, and that is my greatest fear. Not being able to go to the very end because I’m broken. I’d just be absolutely gutted because I need this.”
In a briefing with the SAS instructors, they commend the comedian for how great he has been, but are aware that he might break down if he continues to take himself so seriously.
Bringing him in for an interrogation, Watts’ is asked by the staff what he does for a living.
After telling them that he is a comedian, they are gobsmacked.
“F*** off,” Ant Middleton tells him, with a smile, clearly in disbelief that Watts’, who has been taking the course so seriously, is actually a funnyman.
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“Ha! Come on. You’re a comedian?” another soldier laughs. “You’re the most serious bloke I’ve met. Tell me a joke.”
“I’m a 46-year-old father of two. I’m a comedian. And I’ve signed up for this,” he says.
It wasn’t a hit with the soldiers …
“Was that meant to be a joke?” one soldier says.
“You’re a comedian? I’d never have guessed that,” another yells at him.
After asking why the hell he would put himself through this course, he replied:
“It just got to a point before this came along I lost some of my confidence. And for a comedian, and for a performer, my identity.”
“So, I worked for 20 years in radio non-stop. And, about three years ago, I left …
“I just started finding myself staying in late. I was lethargic, and tired, and unmotivated. And not committed to sh*t.”
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMioQFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvbWVycmljay13YXR0cy1yZXZlYWxzLWhpcy1iYXR0bGUtd2l0aC1kZXByZXNzaW9uLW9uLXNhcy1hdXN0cmFsaWEvbmV3cy1zdG9yeS9kNTc2YTY5Y2FiOTA0MGQyODU2NTFiZTFmYTU0YmZhNdIBoQFodHRwczovL2FtcC5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvbWVycmljay13YXR0cy1yZXZlYWxzLWhpcy1iYXR0bGUtd2l0aC1kZXByZXNzaW9uLW9uLXNhcy1hdXN0cmFsaWEvbmV3cy1zdG9yeS9kNTc2YTY5Y2FiOTA0MGQyODU2NTFiZTFmYTU0YmZhNQ?oc=5
2020-11-09 10:01:02Z
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