Rumour has it Christina had a “secret boyfriend” outside the Big Brother mansion during filming, making her perhaps the sneakiest game player of them all and thus my new favourite.
Let’s be real: her relationship with fellow housemate Brenton probably wasn’t going to make it in the outside world anyway given all they have in common is being ridiculously good looking, but I’m a sucker for the drama via the So Dramatic! podcast.
Tonight’s episode of Big Brother marked the beginning of “hell week”, which with this year’s bundle of housemates, could have taken a number of cruel iterations.
They could have all been forced to try Tilly’s botched Tik Tok beauty treatment, or read Danny’s real estate memoir while listening to his disturbingly loud chewing all week.
But no, hell week is just more complicated, gruelling physical tasks.
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We open to SJ – who spends a lot of time talking about being vegan – waking up in the early hours of the morning to pilfer chocolate chips from a hiding spot in the cupboard. That crafty minx.
She eats them with a handful of nuts while lying on the floor in what looks like quite possibly the most uncomfortable midnight snacking position in the history of late-night binge eating. Surely this is a lying-down-on-the-couch resting food on your bulging stomach to catch the crumbs situation?
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SJ is so content with her alone time, she cries tears of joy to Big Brother, saying she’s had “the most special of times” on the floor eating forbidden chocolate chips.
This show is slowly but surely sending them all insane.
SJ creeps back to bed, stashing her sugary loot in a pot plant.
The housemates are woken early to bundles of army gear and sacks of potatoes, which they’re told they’ll be carrying around the entire day for a dinner reward of steak and chips.
Ari – still bleary eyed from the early wake up call – remarks that he’d “love a steak, especially if we can have wholegrain seed mustard seeds.”
They put on the army duds and everyone begins gushing about how good Brenton looks in the outfit. Being hot, in a “power couple” and a physical threat is a sure fire way to be evicted in this game, so he instantly becomes unsafe.
The housemates march around with the potatoes, in and out of the pool and while being forced to do squats. There’s a lot of complaining for a group of people who spend the vast majority of their spare time exercising anyway.
After a while, Danny is called to the diary room where he’s given a new sack filled with much lighter balls. He’s ordered to spend the day pretending his ballsack is uncomfortably heavy to successfully fool the others.
He lays it on thick, developing a limp, grunting and moaning with agony with each step as he exaggerates carrying his ballsack around the house.
The housemates start to tease him about how much he appears to be struggling, with Christina throwing quite possibly the most vicious veiled swipe I’ve ever heard.
“Is this kinda what you had to do in the military Danny?” she asks as he hoists his sack up with apparent agony.
Savage.
They complete the steak and chips challenge, but because it’s hell week, they’re given wooden stakes and are told to make chips out of their sweaty potatoes. (We see what you did there).
Danny – who did absolutely nothing but carry around a light bag of balls – is rewarded with an actual steak dinner, which he enjoys with Adriana while talking with his mouth open and chewing like a camel.
It really is starting to feel like hell week.
The housemates are exhausted, but before they can even shut their eyes, Big Brother pulls them out of bed for a 2am nomination challenge.
Divided into teams, they compete in an obstacle course, which Katie’s team wins.
They nominate Brenton, SJ and Christina for eviction, with the scramble leaving it between SJ and Brenton for elimination.
They enter the eviction zone/virtual laser tag arena where Sonia awaits them in a purple robe.
SJ turns on the waterworks. It’s been an emotional day.
She pleads with the housemates to let her stay and make history as the oldest woman to make it to a Big Brother final, describing the opportunity as “rad” – just to drive the point home that she really is 66.
They’re all moved by her speech and passion – which only we know is really about the fact that she hasn’t finished the chocolate chips in the pot plant.
The votes are tallied; Christina gets one, SJ gets 3 and Brenton gets 8.
He and Christina hug goodbye and he tells the camera he’s “looking forward to catching her on the outside”.
Back in the house, Christina shrugs as the others gather to comfort her, looking totally unfazed by Brenton’s departure.
If that isn’t proof of the secret boyfriend I don’t know what is.
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMimQFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvYmlnLWJyb3RoZXJzLXJvbWFuY2UtaXMtcmlwcGVkLWFwYXJ0LWFuZC1oZWxsLXdlZWstYmVnaW5zL25ld3Mtc3RvcnkvNjI5NDNlZjZkMDUxN2U0NjY1YjFhNmQwYTk2YmE1ODLSAZkBaHR0cHM6Ly9hbXAubmV3cy5jb20uYXUvZW50ZXJ0YWlubWVudC90di9yZWFsaXR5LXR2L2JpZy1icm90aGVycy1yb21hbmNlLWlzLXJpcHBlZC1hcGFydC1hbmQtaGVsbC13ZWVrLWJlZ2lucy9uZXdzLXN0b3J5LzYyOTQzZWY2ZDA1MTdlNDY2NWIxYTZkMGE5NmJhNTgy?oc=5
2021-05-31 11:05:34Z
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