Minggu, 18 Februari 2024

Hippie cuts sick over MAFS groom’s hygiene - news.com.au

A Byron Bay hippie abandons her energy crystals and loses her Zen on Married At First Sight as she cuts sick at Sunday’s commitment ceremony over the “deep humiliation” that has turned her mood ring a filthy shade of brown.

We love when hippies drop their woo-woo veneer and get all bitter. It’s like hearing a priest swear. Or seeing Krusty The Clown punch a dart next to a dumpster.

So, what is this colossal mortification that haunts our wayward guru? No spoilers yet, but it’s on par with the second-hand embarrassment we’re overcome with when the elderly couple details a DIY escapade they certainly didn’t learn from Better Homes And Gardens.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS:Read all the recaps here

It’s the second commitment ceremony of the season and we’re exhausted from having to sit through constant rehashing of petty dramas we’ve already mocked. It’s another night of he said, she said. Or … freak said, freak said.

Lauren still thinks her husband is boring. Jack keeps breadcrumbing his wife, Tori. And Ben continues to prove the government should have the power to grant and deny broadcast licenses to people wishing to launch podcasts.

Of course, the elderly couple takes a moment to share some wisdom with the young whippersnappers on the show.

“We gazed, we hugged, we sucked, we f**ked,” Grandpa Richard describes his week with nan.

Thanks, pop. We’ll ensure that’s etched as the epitaph on your tombstone.

Everyone’s still reeling from last night’s dinner party, where the booze flowed and irony was thick in the air as Sara yelled at Tim while demanding he not yell at her about her yelling at him. Tonight, on the couch, the experts scold her for browbeating her husband. She learns her lesson. Instead, she saves her irritation and just yells at him in the car on the way home.

While the dinner party left a lot of people bruised, no one has been hit harder than Byron hippie Lucinda, who got caught in the crosshairs as her husband Timothy arrogantly trolled the other couples.

“It’s had moments of deep humiliation,” she says of her time on the experiment.

We believe she’s referring specifically to last night’s antics, but this statement no doubt encompasses the time Timothy lodged a formal complaint about her boobies.

The fury has been building, like a storm rolling over the Byron Bay hinterland. Now, a hard rain falls. Mother nature is angry.

“I’m not interested in traversing and journeying alongside someone that’s just so ‘up you’ to the world and pointing all these fingers. That’s not my jam. And that’s not something I really stand by,” she rants to the experts about her dud of a husband.

“Am I signing up for minimum affection? Am I signing up for someone who can’t share their feelings and emotions?”

Her usually smooth tone that has been acquired over years of obsessively listening to Life Matters on Radio National becomes spiked with rage.

“Am I signing up for someone who expects me to do most of the housework?” she continues. “ … And wants to watch television all the time.”

Uh-oh. She’s taking aim at “television watchers” again. Oof. We sympathise with you, Lucinda, but you’ve gotta show us some respect. Criticising us television watchers while appearing on our television screens? That’d be like us barging into your Mullumbimby hut and rearranging all the crystals.

Anyway, the climax of Lucinda’s rant comes when she turns to her husband and zones in on the more intimate details of their time together. Like his lack of interest in sex. And aversion to toothbrushes.

“You don’t brush your teeth before bed!” she declares.

Contrary to popular belief, not all Byron hippies are scruffy nomads who don’t wear shoes.

For many, the three pillars of the town are: peace, love and oral hygiene.

Timothy sighs. He has been exposed.

“I’m a disaster,” he agrees. “I’ve got more baggage than Qantas.”

And with that, he pledges to lose that baggage. … Like Qantas.

Facebook: @hellojamesweir

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2024-02-18 09:56:15Z
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