The Bachelor In Paradise star who says he will sue Channel 10 after being portrayed as a “clinger” on the series is tossed off the island on Wednesday night following the teary confession that he’d rather wet his pants than leave the side of the girl he’s pining over in order to go to the toilet.
Well then. The defence team must be shaking in their tasselled loafers.
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Jamie claims his edit is unfair and he’s not the clinger producers have made him out to be. After declaring last night he had feelings for Megan Marx, a contestant not even on the island and whom Jamie has only met once, tonight he is dreaming about someone else – Helena. A woman no longer on the island and who did not share Jamie’s feelings.
“F**k I’m gonna cry,” his voice quivers as he opens up to reluctant bure-mate Timm. “To meet someone like her, it’s given me, like a rebirth. I never thought I would feel like that about someone. I’d be talking to her and I’d be busting to go to the toilet. And I would rather piss my pants and sit there and talk to her than go to the toilet.”
How dare Channel 10 paint Jamie as a clinger. Not to get all Elle Woods, but I did study law for approximately six weeks before I stopped going because it was nothing like Legally Blonde. Let the record show that the word “clinger” is defined by the internet as “an emotionally clingy person”.
To insinuate that wanting to stay by the side of a woman – who does not in any way reciprocate your feelings – at all times – even if it means soiling yourself – is the behaviour of a clinger? It’s out of line! It’s opportunistic! It is outrageous.
What kind of a country are we living in where we can’t even trust reality TV producers? What does it say about us as a nation when a 40-year-old man in an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt can’t even express his feelings for someone by losing control of all bodily functions in order to never leave their side? There was a time where that would’ve been called romance. I rest my case.
Jamie should just pack up his night vision goggles and leave the island on his own terms before producers besmirch his reputation even more.
As a side note, what do we think this musty old twin-share bure smells like? I think a combination of sweaty bed linen and old shoes that have been sprayed with deodorant.
Meanwhile, Britney is still having that meltdown from last night when Niranga tried taking her on a date.
“I don’t want to go on this date! Why would I wanna go on a date if I don’t like the person! It’s a joke. This is a joke!” she sobs in her bure, annoyed that this pointless date will hinder her chances with the Pie King. “I don’t wanna sound like a bitter bitch but I’m not interested.”
Niranga revokes the date card and Brittney returns to the LITtney we all know and love.
“When Niranga said he wasn’t gonna give me the date I was just so relieved. It gives me free time to talk to Jackson. So, you know, it was just a win all around,” she nods.
LITtney’s got her groove back and immediately hits it off with Jackson.
“GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME, GIVE IT TO ME, YEAAAAHHHH!” she raps while twerking in front of him.
“Oi guess what? My last name is Well-Done – OOOOHHHH!”
Jackson is wide-eyed. “Weldon? Brittney … Weldon?”
“Wellllll-dooonnneeee!” she booms.
It’s the kind of seduction Jamie wishes he could pull off. It works and LITtney spends the night in Jackson’s bure.
“He’s a really good kisser,” she assures us and we’re not surprised – he’s the Pie King.
But Brittney has some competition. Cass also wants a bite of that pie. The girls are giving the roses at tonight’s ceremony, so they’re in a race for who gets to choose Jackson.
Cass pulls Brittney aside at the cocktail party to deliver some A+ passive aggressive conversation.
“How would you feel if I did choose Jackson?” she asks.
“Do whatever you want but I spent the night with him, I kissed him, there’s a connection there,” LITtney asserts.
“Has he told you there’s a connection with you guys?
“Yes.”
“Oh, OK, so … just to make it clear: he has said to you that you guys have a connection?”
It quickly spirals.
“I’m just trying to have a civilised conversation,” Cass smiles.
“I’m being civilised,” Brittney smiles back.
“I think I’m a good person and I just wanted to chat with you,” Cass nods.
“We are chatting,” Brittney responds before standing up and walking off.
“That was rude, it was rude. She’s very weird and rude,” Cass says to no one in particular as Mary provides stellar reactions yet again.
Cass really delivers with the conversation tonight. Earlier, she’s dragged away against her will on a date with Niranga and she puts on display her finest first date dialogue. Seriously, it was something out of a Nancy Meyers film.
“Maybe I still have a chance,” Niranga smiles.
“Zero chance. Zero,” Cass says between mouthfuls of corn chips. “I’m just here for the free food. Oh wow. I haven’t had olives in ages. All I really care is that there are olives on this date.”
When it comes time for the rose ceremony, producers pit Cass and Brittney against each other until the very end. Two roses left. Cass is called first. She picks Jackson and the camera does a fast cutaway to Brittney but her reaction is eclipsed by Mary’s.
Brittney’s forced to pick a guy she doesn’t like. Three boys are going home tonight and Jamie’s in the bottom four. He’s hoping Brittney keeps him in one more week but she has had enough of his games. She chooses the guy with the eyebrows.
As Niranga and some random nobody walk out of the straw rose ceremony hut, Jamie decides to hold court with some departing words.
“I just wanna say over the last 10 years I’ve built some walls around myself,” he begins. “I thought I came on Paradise and I let those walls down and I opened myself up. I had feelings for Helena that I actually never felt for anyone ever in my life. She gave me butterflies every morning when I saw her. I’m gonna go out there and I’m gonna find my version of Helena and that’s what I’m gonna take from this experience.”
Jamie trudges down the sand of the beach and reflects on what he wants – either Helena or a lookalike version of Helena. Either way, he’s going to get it.
“It gives me an epiph-am-y that I just wanna pursue Helena. I don’t know if it’s replicated (reciprocated) but Helena is the girl for me.”
It’s beautiful. Helena – or any lookalike versions of Helena – please come out of hiding and accept the love that is being offered. Love like this doesn’t come around every day. It’s that deep love. That pants-wetting love. That not-even-gonna-bother-going-to-the-toilet-so-I-can-stay-by-your-side kinda love. It’s waiting. And it’s up to you to have an epiph-am-y.
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMirAFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2phbWVzLXdlaXItcmVjYXBzLWJhY2hlbG9yLWluLXBhcmFkaXNlLWF1c3RyYWxpYS0yMDIwLWVwaXNvZGUtOC9uZXdzLXN0b3J5L2E0Y2VmZGJmZWQxNzg4Zjg0NmFjYjQxZDRhOWFmYzc50gGsAWh0dHBzOi8vYW1wLm5ld3MuY29tLmF1L2VudGVydGFpbm1lbnQvdHYvcmVhbGl0eS10di90aGUtYmFjaGVsb3IvamFtZXMtd2Vpci1yZWNhcHMtYmFjaGVsb3ItaW4tcGFyYWRpc2UtYXVzdHJhbGlhLTIwMjAtZXBpc29kZS04L25ld3Mtc3RvcnkvYTRjZWZkYmZlZDE3ODhmODQ2YWNiNDFkNGE5YWZjNzk?oc=5
2020-07-29 11:01:00Z
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