A disgruntled SAS Australia celeb has flipped out on-air and turned against the TV show’s crew, calling them out for a fake drama. James Weir recaps.
One of the celebrity contestants on SAS Australia throws an on-air tantrum and calls out the TV crew for setting him up in fake drama on Monday night but doesn’t seem to realise that, by going rogue, he’s single-handedly supercharging the very spectacle he’s trying to defuse.
Ah, the magic of reality TV. Everything’s a trap. The house always wins.
JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the recaps here
Before the explosion, convicted drug dealer Richard Buttrose — nephew of media doyenne Ita Buttrose — is regaling his camp mates with tales from inside the slammer.
“Every time I see a toilet brush, you think, That’s a f**kin’ shiv,” he says, fondly recalling how the basic household cleaning instrument would regularly be fashioned into a crude weapon.
It’s interesting. Whenever I look at a toilet brush, I think, How have humans not thought of a better way to clean their toilets without having to keep a rank brush inside the house?
“If your toilet brush isn’t there, then you’re in big trouble,” Richard says. “They snap the brush off. They make it short, so it can be concealed. And then melt the end of it until it’s a sharp pencil.”
AFL legend Barry Hall has questions: “Where do they hide ‘em?”
Richard imparts more knowledge: “Up their ass. It’s called a purse.”
The best part about Richard being involved in this show is imagining Ita’s disgust at the public airing of these crass anecdotes.
Anyway, little does he know that, just hours later at a cliffside challenge, he’s going to be wishing he packed a toilet brush shiv in his … purse.
The challenge? Play tug of war, with the aim of pulling your opponent off a cliff.
Everyone’s paired up and Richard is matched with NRLW player Millie Boyle. Producers know it always gets a dicey reaction from the public when the men are pitted against women in these extreme physical challenges. But the soldiers are really respectful about it.
“You’re gonna dig in and you’re gonna pull her off the f**king cliff! You understand me?” one growls at Richard.
“Rip his arms from his f**king body,” another screams at Millie.
And with that, they’re given the count down. Three, two, one!
But the match is stopped before it even begins. The soldiers accuse Richard of starting to pull the rope on the count of one, instead of after. We all have PTSD flashbacks to primary school.
Even though Millie also started pulling the rope too early, the soldiers only single out Richard because they need to start setting up a new villain as Locky’s understudy. They grab him by the neck of his shirt and chastise the cheater. It’s at this point Richard wishes he could pull a toilet brush shiv out of his purse.
Richard’s not having it. He knows the storyline that’s being confected here and he refuses to be cast in it.
“I don’t think I wanna be apart of your stupid TV show anymore,” he cuts sick.
“You guys are tearing strips off me for sh*t I’m not f**king doing! I get strips torn off me and (called a) corner-cutting cheating c**t. I’m sick of the bullsh*t TV. I’m not falling for this bullsh*t!”
Breaking the fourth wall, he looks directly into the camera — almost pleading with the viewers to not believe what the soldiers are saying about him. It’s a trap all reality TV contestants fall into. They try to outsmart the producers by hysterically exposing fake drama as it’s happening, but they don’t realise they’re simply escalating it more and serving up an unhinged moment of paranoia that we wouldn’t have otherwise seen.
Head soldier Ant expertly plays the role of level-headed peace-maker, making Richard seem even more irrational.
Richard rolls his eyes. “Beautiful edit. Now have we got the scene?” he spits, accusing the crew of trying to craft a moment.
Ant furrows his brow. “Listen, this isn’t a scripted show, we don’t go back and look at the footage, we don’t see you in the accommodation.”
Yeah, Richard. Don’t be so crazy. As if the soldiers even have time for that. It’s the producers who comb through all the whackjob footage — and then they just relay the best bits to the soldiers so they can mock you. It’s called workflow efficiency.
Either way, it ends with Richard being tossed off the course. And we hope Ita Buttrose makes a special appearance on Celebrity Gogglebox this week, just so we can watch her facial reactions to the toilet shiv chat.
Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMijgFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvamFtZXMtd2Vpci1yZWNhcHMtc2FzLWF1c3RyYWxpYS0yMDIyLWVwaXNvZGUtNi9uZXdzLXN0b3J5L2QzOWI3ZTIzZjVkOTk5OGE1NWMxNmQyMzFhZTFhNTU50gGSAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm5ld3MuY29tLmF1L2VudGVydGFpbm1lbnQvdHYvcmVhbGl0eS10di9qYW1lcy13ZWlyLXJlY2Fwcy1zYXMtYXVzdHJhbGlhLTIwMjItZXBpc29kZS02L25ld3Mtc3RvcnkvZDM5YjdlMjNmNWQ5OTk4YTU1YzE2ZDIzMWFlMWE1NTk_YW1w?oc=5
2022-03-07 10:05:26Z
1308222023
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar