The Bachelor finale has ended painfully for both finalists. And now one of them faces an uncomfortable future. James Weir recaps.
The Bachelor comes to a brutal and long-awaited end on Thursday’s finale when both finalists are sledged by Jimmy’s parents just hours before the big decision is delivered and the dumped heartbroken runner-up is made walk away through the dark, over rocky terrain while wearing heels.
This finale could been hit or miss. The series has been plagued by record-low ratings and Network Ten bosses even slashed a week of its scheduled eight-week run just to end it sooner. It makes us think of a simpler time — like when Honey Badger double-dumped both girls on his finale and went home alone. We really didn’t appreciate that as much as we should have.
Producers need to pull out the big guns tonight in order to end with a bang. Their solution? Judgy parents. Cue the slow clap. It took ‘em a while to kick things into gear, but they finally got their act together with the judgy parents. Credit where credit’s due. Needless to say, the judgy parents deliver and will now have to endure very awkward interactions with the woman their son chooses.
JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the recaps here
For this finale, we all go on a fun excursion to the Northern Territory as a treat for having suffered through such a boring season. The voiceover chimes in to get us up to speed with Jimmy’s journey. “Will he fall for the fun-loving and spontaneous Brooke? Or will it be the vivacious and sophisticated Holly who sweeps him off his feet?”
Whoever wrote the voiceover script got a little too creative with the adjectives used to describe the girls. Holly is vivacious? What vivacious things has she ever done? Have we seen an example of her vivaciousness? Is there footage of her dancing in the street with strangers or befriending random people in the Coles self-serve checkout queue? A vivacious person would do both these things.
And Brooke — spontaneous? The girl has told Jimmy she wants him to quit his piloting career and find a job that operates between the hours of nine-to-five, Monday to Friday so they can watch The Voice together on the couch every night and gab about how great Sonia Kruger’s shoulder definition is. So wild and uninhibited!
Speaking of Brooke, we find her trudging through a field in knee-high suede boots.
The first order of business is making the girls face Jimmy’s family one final time. We pep up because Jimmy’s mum Suzie is back. We love Suzie. She’s a clinical psychologist with whip-smart observations and chic taste in fashion. A real classy broad. I’d watch a show with just her on it.
Anyway, Brooke’s wheeled in first and she’s freaking out. She says she’s had trouble in the past with the families of partners and she’s worried she’s gonna be a bit OTT.
“Well, you are wearing knee-high suede boots in the desert,” we sigh.
She takes a deep breath, finds her centre and really calms down before entering the family brunch. Huh. Maybe she won’t be so intens-
OK, well, maybe she’ll settle down once the conversation starts flowing.
“On our last date, I organised for us to have a spa together, because I wanted him to see a little bit more of my sexy side,” she blurts out.
Suze pulls Brooke away for a private chat. Perfect. This takes away the pressure of Brooke having to perform for the entire family. It’s a chance to put her best self forward.
“I can be a little bit clingy at times and it does scare me that I won’t cope and that I’ll struggle,” she divulges about Jimmy’s work schedule before breaking down entirely. “I’m very spiritual when it comes to these sorts of things. I’m very spiritual, um, and I just feel like it’s meant to be.”
Producers take some artistic license in post production and score this entire scene with really creepy piano music.
Brooke reckons she’s nailed this chat. “I think we get along like a house on fire!”
Hmm. Interesting. Any thoughts, Suze?
“She’s very clingy,” Suze states. “And she’s very intense. I think it would be challenging for him. It would actually be challenging for me. Just … that level of, um … intensity. Being too clingy would just push him away.”
Finally, someone’s said it. Suze, your honesty and good fashion sense is refreshing.
Next up, Holly. Last time she met Jimmy’s sister, it didn’t end well. She was basically outed by the other girls as being two-faced and here for the wrong reasons. Jimmy’s sister is not letting this one go. And neither is Jimmy’s dad.
As soon as Holly craps off out of ear shot, dad leans in to the rest of the table and spills his true thoughts.
“Look, my feeling is, I think she’s a really, really lovely girl. I don’t think she’s the right girl for Jimmy,” he states.
Well, Jimmy’s dad, while we respect your opinion, we’re really only interested in what Suze has to say. Suze, give it to us straight.
“I think Brooke is too clingy and I think that dynamic would be problematic,” she says. “I think you should choose Holly.”
Ooft. So, the dad and sister don’t like Holly. And Suze isn’t keen on Brooke. What a bind.
There’s only one thing they can do now:
Before we get to the final decision, producers try making us sit through two more dates.
“It makes my ovaries tingle!” Brooke giggles as she soars across the sky with Jimmy in a hot air balloon.
And with that, we immediately decide we cannot tolerate any more of this.
Final decisions, please!
It’s the middle of the night in the NT and Brooke’s 4WD rolls up first. She teeters across the red dirt and rubble toward the man she has fallen madly in love with. The moment Jimmy starts talking, we know the answer.
“You let me into your crazy little world, and I’ve loved every second of it,” he whispers. “It’s been nothing but amazing.”
Buuuuuut?
“Whenever we spoke about the future, it was always really difficult for us. You are perfect in every way, and I would never want to change you. But we are two different people. And it breaks my heart, but I have to say goodbye.”
Brooke’s devastated. It’s a heartbreak we haven’t seen on one of these finales since Matty J or Nikki.
She holds back the sobs for just a second to ask one question.
“Why did you do it here? Why here? In Alice Springs?” she begs for an answer.
At first we think she’s gonna go rogue and get all bitter and ranty like Abbie did a few years ago, but she stops short.
Jimmy sighs. “Honestly, I had no idea which way I wanted to go and I have been thinking so much about this, and … there was just too many unknowns for us. And-”
Brooke cuts him off. “There wasn’t too many unknowns,” she takes one big sniff and holds her head high. “Maybe you’re not for me, then. Because I need someone to take risks with me. I need someone to take risks.”
Between getting sledged by Suze and then getting dumped on TV, it’s been a rough day for Brooke. But it gets worse. While crying and nursing her broken heart, she’s forced to walk back to the 4WD through the dark and across the rocky terrain while wearing heels.
In the 4WD, the camera goes handheld and the footage is really rough and ready which adds to the raw emotion. Brooke’s trying to hold back tears while delivering her back seat monologue but the 4WD is speeding over ditches and potholes and her head keeps banging into the headrest of the seat in front of her.
So we guess this means Holly is the winner! Jimmy tells her she’s the person he wants to come home to every night and cook subscription delivery meals with. It’s almost Shakespearean.
Oh, and Holly? Don’t think too much about the insults Jimmy’s dad and sister said about you behind your back. We’re sure they’ll like you eventually.
Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir
https://news.google.com/__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?oc=5
2021-09-02 14:06:27Z
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