It has been a week of mounting disappointment with our favourite Big Brother snake, who just a day ago vowed to turn over a new leaf after weeks of lies and back-stabbing, rendering him boring.
But tonight, the old Ari is back. Nature is healing.
The beloved 22-year-old pot stirrer backtracked on his short-lived promise to play an “honourable” game by ruthlessly doublecrossing a contestant, declaring “revenge is sweet”.
I couldn’t be prouder.
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Elsewhere, Marley proves to be the least shady player on this show by “sticking to his word” and refusing to back-pedal on a sacred handshake with Danny. While it’s impossible not to love the gentle giant with a voice like butter, I’m just going to say his morally-sound approach to this game is no fun.
We open with a change of pace for the show: split shots of Danny crying in the diary room AND talking with his mouth open. Two for the price of one!
Meanwhile, Ari is busy telling Big Brother how much he’s developed throughout his time in the competition, claiming living in the house has made him “a better person”.
It’s a sweet sentiment that lasts about five minutes until the nomination challenge is set.
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The housemates venture outside for whatever gruelling physical malarky Big Brother has lined up for them.
In a surprise to no one, the rules make no sense and it’s incredibly boring to watch.
I tune out while Danny makes dying animal noises and I browse realestate.com.au, laughing about how I’ll never be a homeowner.
Christina wins, and promptly puts SJ up for nomination. There’s a new rule tonight which means only two people will be up for eviction, one each decided by two separate challenges.
It doesn’t make sense to me either, but I don’t care to think about it any further because it’s making my brain hurt.
Challenge number two involves balancing blocks on a stick through an obstacle course, which feels vaguely familiar. There’s definitely been a block-on-stick obstacle course elsewhere in the competition. Or maybe I just dreamt it. After watching several hundred hours of this show it’s crept into my subconscious and made me go slightly insane.
Ari wins the second challenge, and after a short battle with his morals, decides to toss away his promise to Tilly and put up Danny after he orchestrated Ari’s eviction last week.
“Should I tell Danny he’s safe and then blindside him?,” he asks himself, adding: “You know what, yeah. Revenge is sweet.”
It’s a heartwarming television moment that will inspire Australians everywhere.
Back in the house, Ari tells Danny he wants SJ gone, so he only puts up Danny to push the votes on her.
They shake on it.
“In this game a handshake means everything,” says Danny.
“A handshake means nothing,” Ari laughs in the diary room afterwards.
I couldn’t agree more.
He works hard to convince Christina to put her vote on Danny, declaring: “I wasn’t the NSW inner schools debating championship winner four years in a row for nothing.”
Never has high school debating served a person better in life.
The eviction ceremony begins and Sonia is serving chic, one-shouldered maven in blue satin.
The housemates (apart from Ari) all begin to cry as Danny and SJ share their passionate pleas to stay. But Marley’s comments see the tears truly flow.
He says he thinks SJ was sent by his late mum to look out for him.
He adds that Danny is an amazing man and compliments his game play, explaining that while it’s a difficult decision, he’s made a promise to Danny and maintains that he’s a man of his word.
It’s just dawned on Danny – stony faced and furious – that Ari, on the other hand, is not.
They vote, and Sonia breaks the news to the tense group of five as Ari tries not to laugh.
In an epic blindside by the flip-flopping contestant, Danny’s voted out – and the contestants are finally safe from specks of chewed up food every time he speaks with his mouth full.
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2021-06-23 11:01:29Z
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