The Bachelor’s newly-crowned clinger causes a scene on Wednesday night and lashes out in a “drunken, raging” meltdown – the hysterical incident only rivalled by me, every time I grace the Maccas drive-thru.
Wednesday night begins and we’re still back in the middle of last Thursday night’s cocktail party because this is a parallel universe where time and space and civilised behaviour does not exist.
Roxi is on the edge and about to plunge into the depths of a paranoia spiral because Locky went on a date with another girl – as per the rules of this esteemed program – and then Juliette steals him away at the party. Roxi’s concerned he has forgotten all about her even though she told him about her weird sex dream.
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She hovers from afar, watching Juliette chat with Locky and she’s convinced that Juliette is spreading lies and slander about her. Does she have proof? No. But that doesn’t stop her from piecing together a narrative in her head.
“I’m probably getting slaughtered down there. She’s just mad that I came back with a rose and now I’m a threat,” she tells the other girls, who back away slowly.
“She’s making up wild things about me. I don’t want her to throw accusations around that aren’t true just to try make me look bad.”
No one has a clue where Roxi is getting her information from but they’re too scared to engage with her. She finds another group of girls to share her hypothesis with.
“Don’t run my name through the dirt if I haven’t done anything to warrant it,” she fumes as everyone looks around with wide eyes. “She’s doing it because she’s mad I came back with a rose and now I’m a threat and now she’s making up wild things about me … I don’t wanna spend my night thinking she’s just sitting there running my name through the mud.”
Laura takes it upon herself to seek the truth. She approaches Juliette and politely asks if she has any plans to launch a public take-down of Roxi.
Juliette doesn’t confirm it but she also doesn’t deny it.
“Go, please, before I throw this champagne at you!” she yells, using a threat I’ve often hurled at colleagues who come too close to my desk.
Roxi’s paranoia spiral is reminiscent of the meltdown experienced by the angry redhead on the first night in the mansion. And apparently the angry redhead has no recollection of that heinous event.
“Keep us away from the psychos! Keep us away from the psychos!,” the angry redhead yells about Roxi and Juliette, just two weeks after she was the psycho we were all fleeing. “I just think Juliette’s mentally unstable.”
Ugh, go do a Clairol home kit, you angry redhead.
When it comes to a public meltdown, you usually snap back into reality a few minutes after the hysterics and realise your rage was out of proportion. Roxi does not do this. She kicks it up a notch.
“I just feel forgotten,” she sobs.
It’s around now that girl who showed up on the first night wearing a penguin suit grabs Locky. The outfit may have changed, but, once the penguin girl, always the penguin girl. Whenever she appears on screen, producers play that awkward circus music – you know, the kind of music that would play while an elephant is riding a unicycle around the arena. It is never a compliment when producers take one look at you and think: yep, circus music.
She’s holding a piece of paper. Ermagherd, she’s either going to read a passage from her diary or recite a poem. Or worse: rap.
Of course it’s the latter. The circus music gets louder as she starts spitting bars.
“It was only the other day when we first met. You grabbed me by the flipper and that’s when I started to sweat,” she bops along. “I never knew I had a type until I saw your type. You can tell I’m more than wifey material because I can cook more than a bowl of cereal. I know this rap’s kinda crap. But, hey, I thought I’d give it a crack.”
Wow. Watch out Cardi B – we’ve got a new WAP. Honestly, there’s a producer every season whose only job it is to convince one bozo that men think nothing’s sexier than amateur rap. That producer should be commended.
Penguin girl waits for her applause and Australia reacts:
Laura saves Locky and pulls him away for a chat but then Areeba goes and crashes. Of course Laura handles it with grace and poise.
“She’s got a face like a slapped arse,” she growls.
It’s a bold move by Areeba but it doesn’t pay off. Even from outside in the backyard, Locky can hear sobbing from the living room. He ditches Areeba to investigate. We don’t even need to go inside to know those heaving sobs belong to Roxanne.
“Why should I be the one who has to get hurt all the time. There’s never a happy ending,” she cries as Locky approaches. She frantically wipes the snot off her upper lip as she drags him away into the hall. “I was having the best time and then I was like, ‘Ugh, I haven’t spoken to him’.”
Locky remembers an easier time – those carefree days when he was stuck on a deserted island with no food, water or plumbing facilities. Roxi’s sobs snap him back into reality.
“I wanted to just quickly say you’ve got nothing to worry about,” he assures her.
“Yeah but you’re saying that because it’s the end of the night,” she wipes her eyes, smudging her makeup even more. “I feel like if you wanna make time for somebody, you make time. I just feel like I was put last.”
“The chat we had earlier today was so genuine and beautiful,” he says and we can only assume he’s talking about her weird sex dream confession.
Locky completely forgets he has left Areeba waiting out in the garden. She cuts sick.
“You’ve already got a rose. What is wrong with you? Why are you crying this whole f**king night? Why? What is wrong with you? It’s embarrassing,” she spews about Roxi before storming off.
She storms around so much that she ends up running out of places to storm, so she decides to change direction by storming into the house but accidentally storms into Roxi and swiftly storms back out, hoping she wasn’t seen.
Everyone is clearly in a good head space, so Osher rings the bell for the rose ceremony.
“The definition of Areeba is boss,” Areeba says as we notify Merriam-Webster. “All these other girls, none of them are on my level. I told you, I’m a boss, bit*h.”
Just like last week, Areeba has nothing to worry about. There are still random girls here whose names and faces we do not recognise.
Locky evicts the angry redhead and this other lady.
Another day, another paranoia spiral. You’d think Locky’s words of reassurance would’ve settled Roxi’s nerves but they haven’t. As one of the boring nice girls sets off on a sword fighting date with Locky, we’re left sitting under the gazebo listening to Roxi invent more scenarios. We wish Locky was stabbing us with his sword instead.
“The whole night was frustrating for me – I was supposed to be having fun, having a good time,” she blabs before turning on Juliette. “And I’m just gonna say it out loud because we all know what happened. You were gonna say these little lies about me and I just felt like I had to watch my back 24-7. And then it all just came out in the end. Now Locky’s met the drunken, raging Roxi. And I literally just wanna crawl into a ball and hide.”
Yeah. Ah, sure. Damn that mangy Juliette. That Juliette is totally to blame.
We cut to Areeba live at the scene for a witness account.
“I have no idea why Roxi‘s always emotional. Obviously she is unstable,” she informs us.
Roxi can’t stop thinking about her drunken, raging meltdown during the cocktail party. It haunts her. She replays it over and over in her head – you know, in the spare moments she has when she’s not inventing more scenarios in her head.
“I left on the worst terms with Locky because of Juliette,” she spits. “And now he probably thinks I’m some schizo.”
Oh Roxi. Now? Probably? OK.
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMipAFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2phbWVzLXdlaXItcmVjYXBzLXRoZS1iYWNoZWxvci1hdXN0cmFsaWEtMjAyMC1lcGlzb2RlLTUvbmV3cy1zdG9yeS9mNDM2NjczMWZjYzdmNTU5NDBhNTI0ZDZlOTU2MDk0YdIBpAFodHRwczovL2FtcC5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2phbWVzLXdlaXItcmVjYXBzLXRoZS1iYWNoZWxvci1hdXN0cmFsaWEtMjAyMC1lcGlzb2RlLTUvbmV3cy1zdG9yeS9mNDM2NjczMWZjYzdmNTU5NDBhNTI0ZDZlOTU2MDk0YQ?oc=5
2020-08-26 10:49:46Z
CBMipAFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2phbWVzLXdlaXItcmVjYXBzLXRoZS1iYWNoZWxvci1hdXN0cmFsaWEtMjAyMC1lcGlzb2RlLTUvbmV3cy1zdG9yeS9mNDM2NjczMWZjYzdmNTU5NDBhNTI0ZDZlOTU2MDk0YdIBpAFodHRwczovL2FtcC5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2phbWVzLXdlaXItcmVjYXBzLXRoZS1iYWNoZWxvci1hdXN0cmFsaWEtMjAyMC1lcGlzb2RlLTUvbmV3cy1zdG9yeS9mNDM2NjczMWZjYzdmNTU5NDBhNTI0ZDZlOTU2MDk0YQ
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