We liveblogged the season finale below – scroll down for all the highlights and lowlights from the show. And make sure you check back later for a full recap from resident Bach expert James Weir.
You can also catch up on James’ recap of Wednesday’s penultimate episode, which saw two couples leave Paradise and four couples remain: Alisha and Glenn, Mary and Conor, Kiki and Ciarran and Renee and Matt.
Or read our interview with recent Bach evictee Brittany – who told news.com.au’s Bronte Coy that that Timm had changed completely as soon as the cameras stopped rolling late last year – and had wound up “ghosting” and even “blocking” her on social media.
Updates
Alisha and Glenn's commitment ceremony is the gushy lovefest you'd expect:
Cute – but also yawn, tbh. So let's go where the drama is – Kiki's Instagram stories. As her unfortunate exit from Paradise aired, she let fans of the show what had happened next:
"Ciarran and I broke up about two months after he left Paradise. He had moved in with me, tried to make it work… obviously there's a lot of gory details I'll spare you of."
WHAT? KIKI. SPEAK.
"When I'm allowed to fill you in on everything, I'll hopefully give you guys more information."
Exactly how long do we have to wait, Kiki? It's 2020, we're living through a pandemic, each day could be our last. SPILL.
Mary and Conor are still together! She's moved to Tasmania to be with him! Her adorable daughter makes a cameo in their video announcing all these happy updates! My Bach-related cynicism has completely deserted me!
Finally tonight it's time for undoubtedly Paradise's most razzed-up couple, Alisha and Glenn. First we're treated to an exhaustive recap of their heavy petting throughout the season:
As she heads to the commitment ceremony, Alisha admits she's nervous it could all be too good to be true. Come on Bach, send us out on a high note…
Our next couple meet up for a gushing, "I love you"-filled commitment ceremony:
Not for the first time, Mary says she's most excited to tell people she's actually got a boyfriend. Because that's what this is all about, Mary: Making haters jealous.
Look, I don't mean to kick a girl when she's down, but I'd be remiss in my Bach-liveblogging duties if I didn't document the uncredited star of this finale: Kiki's very visible hair extensions.
Mary and Conor are up next. Speaking to Osher, Mary reveals that – and I hope you're sitting down for this bombshell – she came to Paradise looking to find love.
It seems she found it: "I'm in love, I guess," she says, slightly non-commitally. Come on Mary, make us believe it!
During their commitment ceremony, Matt declares that he's "falling in love" with Renee. She says she's "falling more in love" with him.
Once they've both said the L word, they both can't stop saying it. It's… intense.
"I literally actually love you," he tells her.
"I'm leaving Paradise with the love of my life," she says.
We await a title card sombrely announcing they broke up three weeks later… it never comes.
Ahead of her commitment ceremony, Renee confesses to host Osher Gunsberg that she's in "love" with Matt – yep, she used the L word. Osher seems as giddy as a schoolgirl at this news – he's really not jaded after hosting approx. 437 seasons of Bach?
Kiki and Ciarran sit down for a heart-to-heart and mutually agree to skip the pressure of the commitment ceremony, instead pursuing their fledgling relationship away from the prying eyes of reality TV.
The couple walk out of Paradise hand in hand, ready to start their new life toge-
Oh. Right. Never mind.
Not a great night for Ciarran, who walks out of one clash with Kiki and into another with Matt.
He wants Ciarran to stop cutting his lunch with Renee, telling him he needs to back off. Ciarran's not having that, storming off as Matt follows him.
"I want to make it really clear for Ciarran he doesn't need to see Renee after this. He's treated her like dirt. So, now it's time for Ciarran to go get his crap and f**k off," says Matt.
Ciarran ups the gross factor by insisting that he'd be with Renee if he wanted to – apparently she gets no say in the matter.
"I'm pretty pissed off. I don't know where Matt's suddenly grown a pair of balls from," says Ciarran.
He's not coming off too well so far this ep:
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https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMiqgFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2JhY2hlbG9yLWluLXBhcmFkaXNlLXNlYXNvbi1maW5hbGUtZm9sbG93LW91ci1saXZlLXVwZGF0ZXMvbGl2ZS1jb3ZlcmFnZS9kZTYxOTU3NDdmNDFkMDY3ZjkyNzBlMmMyZTU0YTAyMtIBrgFodHRwczovL3d3dy5uZXdzLmNvbS5hdS9lbnRlcnRhaW5tZW50L3R2L3JlYWxpdHktdHYvdGhlLWJhY2hlbG9yL2JhY2hlbG9yLWluLXBhcmFkaXNlLXNlYXNvbi1maW5hbGUtZm9sbG93LW91ci1saXZlLXVwZGF0ZXMvbGl2ZS1jb3ZlcmFnZS9kZTYxOTU3NDdmNDFkMDY3ZjkyNzBlMmMyZTU0YTAyMi9hbXA?oc=5
2020-08-09 11:15:00Z
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